Finding John Malkovich isn’t easy – whether he’s on the set of his latest film, or unveiling his latest designs for his fashion line, John could be anywhere on the globe. Backstage really wanted him to answer our Proust Questionnaire, but we just couldn’t track him down to get his answers. So what’s the next best thing? Having ensemble member and Pulitzer Prize-nominated playwright Tracy Letts answer while Being John Malkovich.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Appearing in a film so brilliant and obscure that no one will ever see it.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
C’est moi.
If you could have only one disc in your CD player, what would it be?
“If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot.
Who is the most colorful person in your life?
While not a person per se, Cardinal Richelieu, my poodle, exhibits many colorful human qualities.
Boxers or briefs?
Neither. Rather, I wear a garment of my own design called an “undersmock.”
Who is number 1 on your speed dial?
Who is number 10?
Number 1: Volker Schlondorf.
Number 10: Yakov Smirnov.
What is your favorite work of art?
This weird painting, sort of a burned thing by that French guy… maybe it’s a bird?
How would you like to die?
Atomized in a jet engine.
Fabric softener sheets – yes or no?
I sleep in a tub of milk.
Where do you shop?
A very exclusive boutique I’ve built in my basement.
Vodka or Scotch?
Vodka, but again, only the brand I created: “Johnnie’s Potato Jack.”
What’s your sign?
Sagittarius, which means that I am generous, philosophical and completely incomprehensible.
Stranded on a desert island, you have two books in your possession. What are they?
“Montaigne – The Complete Essays.”
And another copy of “Montaigne – The Complete Essays.”